The Footsteps Of My Life

I have renewed my blog by deleting all the posts that i posted when i am still thirteen and fourteen years old. Yes, i have decided to start over my blog again and this is the first post for my renewed blog. I can still remember all the stuff that happened in the past and the memories sometimes will like flash back in my mind. My family members, teachers, friends or even the relationships with the wrong people in my life. Time was flowed too fast and nowadays i have scared and worried about that the people around me will be like leave me, i dunno why i will think this kind of stuff but i cant really control my mind to think about that especially my grandparents, i cant really accept that i am really scare about that honestly. Sometimes i need to act like i am really brave but actually i am really an idiot and scared, i am coward. I have experienced the feeling before and i wish, i really wish not to experience the feeling again in the future, the feeling is hard to describe, exhaust too exhaust and until now i still cant escape the memories that she gave me. By the way, i know my life must be continue no matter what happened because still got too much things that i cant let go and i know that there are many people still loving me so that i cant make them feel disappointed, i need to be stronger and stronger to face all the difficulty in my life. This has led me to think about one person. He is also a negative person, he is not feeling safety usually and always, he need to be protected so that i cant let him know that i am also a person that feeling unsafe also because i need to protect him and makes him feel secure. Sometimes i am really cant figure out what he thinking and i felt that he will like more care about me when i dont care about or dont mind, i need to pretend that i am not so care haha i dunno why i did all of that but i am really cant easy to trust people and human again since i have met all the wrong people in my past. They make me felt that there is no true love and they just knew regrets in the end. I wont go back again and remake or re-correct all of my decisions i am very sure about that once breakup there is no chance again no matter what. I am a person who hard to fall in love and once i fall i will be very serious and serious and also, once despair, there will be no chance again, thus, i will defined and called these as the footsteps of my life and i will continue my footsteps until the end of my life.